October 30, 2002 - After months of waiting (5 to be exact), I finally got up at the Punchline comedy club for thier San Francisco Comedy Showcase. Things went well and I should not have to wait nearly as long to get up again. I have to say that bieng on a real stage with a real audience brought me back to graduation from UNO's Comedy Class. I was nervous as hell when Molly (the Punchline's manager) asked if I was good to perform. I thought I was going to pass out until my foot hit the stage. As soon as I got up there the anxiety completely left my body and I could see the words of my routine slowly scrolling through my brain. Just like when I was fourteen.
Anyways, have a happy Halloween and take it easy
- Matt
October 9, 2002 - There is no way I haven't updated this since August. Anyway, here are the developments:
Did my first 15 minute showcase at the Mock Cafe on September 28. It was great. Hosted a week later. Went ok.
I should be doing the famous Puchline this Sunday. It's not a big deal to get on, all you have to do is wait around for a few months. If I do well, however, that's another story.
I will be doing my very first paying gig at Chieftan's Irish Pub on November 16. I will recieve the glorious amount of $50.
For those of you who were wondering: I'll be in Slidell from November 23 till December 1.
Finally, your prayers have been answered. There are new emails up on the "Father Knows Best" portion of the site. Enjoy.
-Matt
August 31, 2002 - And now...the first week at SFSU:
Day 1 was the beggining of my "rush to get the classes I really wanted, starting with Broadcasting 200. Luckily, I added the class and dropped the useless "Humanism and Mysticism (did I spell that right?) that was a black spot on my schedule.
Also, I went to "Variations of Human Sexuality", which is proving to be an unusual and disturbing venture. In addition to masturbation videos, writing personal papers, and odd class discussions, there is a lecture and video on beastiality. Fantastic.
Thursday was hell. My first class was at 8 in the morning, and I was up all night listening to my roomate slamming doors as he came inside from smoking a ciggarette. After shitting around for an hour, I went to my "Divorce and Remarriage" class, which bored me to death. It's one of those "how could I give less of a shit" classes. After that ended at 12:15, I ran down to the barber shop for my 1:00 appointment, which ended at 1:30, and then ran back to school to attend a broadcasting class that I wished to ad, which started at 2:00. As expected, I didn't get the class. So I limped back home and drove to the local Jack in the Box to get a free hamburger (coupon), then drove back, ate my dinner, and ran back to school for a 5:00 class that wound up being at 6:00. Fourtunately, It looks like I might be able to add that one.
Friday: Woke up at 8 to get to a 9:00 class that I was unable to add. Ran home, fixed lunch, ran back to school to attend my creepy "Variations" class. Ate lunch. Went to Creative Writing class. Skipped out early to add Broadcasting 460. Amazingly, I was able to add 460 and drop Creative Writing. Went home. Dropped from exhaustion.
Week 1: accomplished.
Matt
PS: I now have DSL. I'll be on AIM a lot, so look for typeofmatt. or mail me your tag.
August 20, 2002 - Ok kids, here's what's going on.
First off, I didn't make it into the LV comedy competition, but I'm not all that upset. I've only been doing this hard-core for about a month and I still got my picture in the paper.
New stuff: I went to Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors in Pasadena (near LA) over the weekend. While the presenters were cool, the people were FREAKS! I never thought I'd call someone a freak, but these were annoying Goth fanatics (about as wretched as hard-core punks and e-tards). Reguardless, the quasi-celebrities there were pretty cool. All three actresses from the origional Evil Dead were there (the crowd dubbed them "Soccer Moms of the Evil Dead"). George Romero, director of Night of the Living Dead was there as well. A super-nice guy, he signed everything for free. Clint Howard, Ron "Opie" Howard's younger brother, was also there promoting his new film "House of the Dead". Finally, Bruce Campbell, star of the Evil Dead Trilogy was there. He was graciously signing copies of his book (which is pretty good) and was hilarious during his presentation.
Ok. So check out the links to see pics of me with bruce, george and clint and check out a pic of Paul's new tattoo.
- Matt
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August 13, 2002 - I'm in the newspaper! Yes that's right, the San Francisco Examiner used my picture in their article about the Las Vegas Comedy Competition (Laugh Across America). I was interviewed, by none of my comments made the cut. That's fine, however, as I am very happy with the picture.
August 12, 2002 - So I'm back in San Francisco. I want everybody to know that I had a great time while visiting Slidell. The best times were spent with Julie-Toups-Face, but once again that is my buisiness :)
I went to see TOOL for the fourth time during my vacation. As always they put on a great show, but I was dissapointed by the set list. It has been six years since I heard them play "Prison Sex", and four years since I have heard "Third Eye". They did play plenty of favorites, however, such as "Ænema", "46 & 2", "Sober" and "Lateralus". It would have been nice to hear "Opiate" or "Undertow", but oh well.
Since I've been back I've been doing some more stand-up comedy. I recently auditioned for the Las Vegas Comedy Competition. The SF competition fell through because I did not have a 20 minute audition tape. If I win the LV competition I get a free trip to Vegas with hotel accomadations and the chance to perform in front of members of the media! Wish me luck...
Well until next time -
Matt
July 18, 2002 - Ok. So most of you know I'm in Slidell right now visiting. Since everyone has a job I am all by myself for most of the day so I decided to update this shithole of a website.
Before I left I went to go check out the San Francisco Gay Pride Festival (I'm not gay). I went with my friend Paul (also not gay, but British, which is kind of the same thing). It was more of a freak show than a celebration of sexual freedom. Lots of drag queens (I'm not gay). All in all it was like a really, really gay Mardi Gras. I took a few pictures (warning: very gay), most with Paul posing with gay folk. He doesn't have many inhibitions. I also have some pictures of the band Dead or Alive, who were famous for thier eighties single "You Spin Me Round" (ridiculously gay). Check out the S&M pics for open wound entertainment (I'm not gay). Unfortunately, my fairly amusing day was ruined by an Etard named "Puppy" (I shit you not). He sexually assaulted me while I was hanging out in "Leather Alley". It took two leather guys to pry him off. Check out pictures of puppy and the leather guys below. Why did I take a picture of someone who tried to molest me in broad daylight? I'm still figuring that one out. Trust me, I didn't enjoy it, although Paul thought it was one of the greatest things he had ever beheld. While I was bieng violated Paul felt it necessary laugh hysterically and egg Puppy on. With friends like these (I'm not gay. But I'm probably a little gayer from having been to Gay Pride. Chances are I'm not going back, so only hetero festivals for me in the future).
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June 3, 2002 - Here's some funny stuff. Check out some old Northshore High alumni by visiting these addresses. First up is Orialis Serrano and her dance troupe at http://www.ladf.com/Dance_with_the_Force/9900_dwtf/9900_DWTF.htm. Her old friend Janeen bridges is at http://members.tripod.com/lsuladies/jb.html. The "seductive pics" are amusing.
May 24, 2002 - I never thought I would have to write this, but Brian Bailey, a friend of mine from Slidell, died Friday morning. I first got to know Brian (or "Mike" as everybody called him) by seeing him show up at Dead Kelly shows. I later started to hang around him and his friends during school. Aside from goind to his house for a crawfish boil and going to see Agents of Oblivion with him, I did not know Mike all that well . I always considered him my friend, though. Mike was the kind of guy you always saw smiling. I think it was put best in his obituary when it stated that he never had anything bad to say about anybody. I'm working on a tribute for brian, so please visit it here and email me if you want to contribute to it. Lots of people loved Brian, and we will all miss him.
April 21, 2002 - So for those of you who missed me, I was home the second week of April, and here is what happened.
I saw Nick Sayway for the first time in forever and he hasn't changed a bit, except now he has a beard that traps bong resin.
Arty Macarthur is still alive and functioning as a glitch in the matrix. We went out drinking with Brian Kelly, who graciously took a break from having sex with his girlfriend to catch up on old times.
Finally, Julie and I went and saw Robin Williams at the UNO Lakefront Arena. He talked about the Scottish inventing golf, colonoscopy, and taking so much viagra that you cum in your own eye. The two old people sitting next to me loved it.
Oh yea, I cut all my hair off.
Check out pics of Arty and my hair in the pics section
April 19, 2002 - Layne Staley 1967 - 2002. Stories:
CNN
MTV
March 27, 2002 - Milton Berle 1908 - 2002. Dudley Moore 1935 - 2002.
March 10, 2002 - My riegn of terror on the San Fransisco comedy scene has begun! That's right, I've started doing stand-up comedy again. Last night I performed at the The Mock Cafe, where I was the 10th open mic comic of the evening. It was pretty exciting, considering that I had not done my routine in a year and a half. Things went well, people laughed and applauded, and that's all I wanted. It was a little intimidating because about half of the comics there were professional. One guy, Lee Levine, has been doing stand-up for 5 years (although, technically so have I. I did my first routine at 14, but anyways). I hope to do this every weekend, and then a few times a week once I start at San Fransisco State University.
That's all the time I have for now ladies and gentlemen. Good nite.
February 17, 2002 - Happy belated Valentine's day everybody. I had a good one you bet. So here is what's new on the page. I put a bunch of dead kelly pictures up at here. If anybody out there has any, send them over.
In other news, I was supposed to go check out a comedy club this weekend. I wasn't going to perform, I was just going to "feel out the place". Unfortunately, everybody flaked on me so I am going next week and will be performing, as it seem this is the only way to convince people to come.
Other than that, there is not much happening in Mattland. I'll let you know what happens with the comedy club next week.
Peace out,
January 21, 2002 - Ugh, I am sick. But I still updated the site, so nah-nah. Check out the friends section for more fun filled pictures. Send some in if you want me to post anything.
I'm gonna go now 'cause I'm feeling poopie (I'm sick, remember? how soon you forget) but before I go I must mention the passing of comic book legend John Buscema. Mr. Buscema died, January 10 at 74 years of age. He worked for marvel comics from 1966 to 1996, and drew characters such as Spiderman and The Fantastic Four. Please visit The John Buscema Official Website and Trading Post for his tribute, and stay to view some of his incredible artwork inside and outside the comic world.
-Matt
January 14, 2002 - Happy New Year, and all that jazz.
I arrived back in California around eight o'clock Saturday night safe and sound. Visiting home was great as I got to see many old friends.
Dear old dad (who needs to send more emails, don't you think?) took the family out to the Sugar Bowl where LSU ripped Illinois to pieces. Even though I'm not a fan of the school, it was still great to see LSU win.
The best times I had were with Ms. Julie Toups-a-roonie, but that's my buisiness...
So, what else? Classes started today. I've been using my Palm Pilot (thanks, Santa) to organize all my schoolwork. My statistics professor is the hottest woman alive. She looks like the chick from the Karate Kid Part 1
Peace out, everyone, and good luck to all of you I saw over the holidays for the spring semester.
-Matt
December 15, 2001 - Finals are next week, and so is something very special..., I'm coming home!!! Yup, from December 20 to January 12 they'll be so much me you won't be able to stand it.
November 29, 2001 - George Harrison 1943 - 2001
October 21, 2001 - Okay, It's been a while since the page has been updated. I've taken the time to think about a lot of things because as you know,
there are a lot of things to think about during this period of American history. So lets start with the most important topic, the war. I have been helping out, mind you, with Red Cross fundraisers and such.
"But Matt," you cry, "Aren't you a cynical bastard who would be the last person to stand behind any country, goverment, organization, or any group of people?" Why yes, little Billy, I am. But 7,000 people are dead, and I love NY, and I live in Silicon Valley (which is a nice target) so I am helping out because even though I am cynical and evil, I do have a heart, and I do care.
But just in case you want to hear me bitch about the state of the world or anything else I want to bitch about, go to the brand new FUCK YOU I HATE EVERYBODY (Matt's Editorials) page.
More meaningless shit for you to kill brain cells over coming, so stay tuned.
Matt
September 11, 2001-
For once in my life, I can't think of anything to say.
September 6, 2001- Bastards,
Send in those pictures of you and your friends and earn a place on MMO. Come on, don't be shy.
That Knox webpage will be up soon. Burp.
Personal news: Me and females, why? How? I meet a stunning blonde in the laundry room of my apartment complex. She was a hardbody who looked like she was 27 and turned out to be 37 (here's to you Mrs. Robinson...). I don't think she's ruled me out as a one night stand though (hello darkness my old friend).
Until next time... Augus 19, 2001-Hey kids, time to see what's new in MMO land...
Thanks to Jeff Bailey for promptly responding to my request for pictures of Knox kids. Get a look at Jubin the Iranian, Bogdan Cockitch, and BenGay (formerly Ben the Effeminate Heterosexual) by clicking here.
I sure could use some pics of Dead Kelly, Mad Seed, The Incursion, and anyone who has shared an experience with me (not those gay ones though).
I've noticed the page is a little image intensive. I'll work on getting it to load faster next week.
Hey, who would like some more links? Still don't have enought places to go? Well then head on down to Tirebelly.com and see the amazing Goob's band. Goob's an old friend and bandmate of Pete. FUNFACT: Goob grew up with Tim "Herb" Alexander, former drummer for Primus. Tim's playing for the Blue Man Group in Vegas these days, in case you were wondering.
Gee, with all these links, I might add a links page (hint-hint). It would sure be great if all my freinds who have websites would send me those URL's (hint-hint-hint).
Okay, I'm sick of typing for today. School starts tomorrow and I must sharpen my pencils, clean my erasers, and polish my nads.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do, August 16, 2001- Before I say anything...SHUT UP! I know I haven't updated the site in, like, forever, and although everyone had enough courtesy to not bitch about it I know you're thinking about it. And those people can suck my hay hangie ding dong. Sigh. I'm sorry, It's just that I don't use an HTML editor to make this page. I write in code, and anyone who knows what that's like can empathize with me. Making a few ajustments can take a couple of hours. Blech.
On the brighter side of hell...there are fun new pages here at MMO! I'm doing a history of my music and YOU CAN HELP! Send me pictures, stories, dead bodies, anything that I can post and you shall be credited and blessed with my unholy powers that come from my frizzy hair. Send all that fun stuff to averyestates@netzero.net and make sure to put pictures in the text. Because of viruses and such, I will not open any attatchments.
Real quick: The Santa Cruz band fell apart. That experience will be put up along with other short band stints. The bass player (Pete Franco, get to know the name) and I stuck together, however, and have formed Ape Sapien. And due to the wonders of technology, there should be an MP3 OF THE FIRST APE SAPIEN SONG THE LONGEST DAY WITHIN A FEW DAYS!!!! Oh, I can feel you kids gyrating already.
Even quicker: I apologize to all those whom I did not visit when I came to Slidell for 10 days. Nothing personal, we'll hook up come Thanksgiving.
Peace, Love, Empathy, Decapitation, March 25, 2001- Man, have I been busy! Midterms and shiznit, the band (which is going very well), and this spiderman thing, This is the first time I have had to sit down and work on the page this week.
So let me make something clear about the spiderman thing. As soon as I posted that I would be an extra, people began sending congratulatory e-mails. People! I was an unpaid extra! I sign a little disclosure form and get herded up with about 50 other "no-bodies" and run around in a crowd scene. Nothing special on my part. All I had to be was 18 and a geek.
Speaking of the spiderman thing, I drove 6 hours to LA monday night, woke up at 6 the next day to work 11 hours in the sun wearing a sweater (dress requirement) and running around as a "frightened NY citizen." I then left that night to get home by 1:00am so I could get to school Wednesday morning. And I wonder why chicks don't dig me.
Before I go, I want to say that the Irish email on my "Father Knows Best" is not meant to be taken seriously, no matter how badly the irish deserve it. So in order to be fair, I have posted an email by my friend Brian Kelly, an offensively Irish American, in order to show that neither I nor my father really hate the Irish.
We do hate the Persians, however.
-Matt
March 18, 2001- Okey, so here's how things are. I have added the much needed frames. For those of you who have a browser that does not support frames, tough titties. Get with the program already! Anyway, the "Father Knows Best?" page is up. Lots of laughs. Also, I will not be here for a few days, I am going to LA to be an extra in the spiderman movie (!!!!!!!). I have now reached my peak of geekdom.
see you guys wednesday...
- Matt
March 15, 2001- So, things are moving along, eh? I admit, the page still looks like crap, but its gonna be a long process. I'm still not sure exactly what I want. Anyway, I bring you a preview of what might be a new section on Matt Morales Online, and it shall be called "Fatherly Wisdom." These are emails from my dad. Enjoy this first one celebrating St. Pattys' Day.
March 6, 2001- Good god, it's MARCH. Well, I made the homepage a
little different so you guys would know I'm actually going to start working on
this thing again. I'm gonna do that whole "learning how to read Java" thing. I
am also working on flash player animations. Jan. 13, 2001- Matt never updates his site. Wah. Well, I am in
california with my mom. I'm going to be at West Valley Junior College trying to
figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. I will post pictures of the
insane road trip across the southwest as soon as I get one of the files from
Brian. That is all for now.
Matt Morales
Matt
Thanks to Brian for taking me to New Orleans multiple times. We saw Lord of the Rings (awesome) Tulane basketball (one win, one loss) and the Saints v. The Redskins (AWFUL). So cheers to my Irish friend, and I'll rest my drink on the Maddigan's coaster we took.
Just a quick bit o' news for ya. First I want to thank all of you kiddies who downloaded the Ape Sapien MP3. There will be plenty more, including an old Dead Kelly tune and a possible acoustic song. As for the Ape Sapien website, I've been thinking about how to design it a lot so don't think I don't know it is bare. Patience...
MATT
The Mother Truckers is a site worth checking out. It's Pete (ape sapien) Franco's country band. Unfortunately, no pics of Petey are on the site since he is a new member, but you can see him with Geddy, his son, and Jill, his wife, at Pete, Jill, and Getty's page.
Mattilingus
GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE SOPHOMORES. ONLY 9 MORE MONTHS TILL' YOU MUST DECLARE A MAJOR :)
Mattilingus Morales
SO WHAT DO IT ALL MEAN?!?!? It
mean stuff that moves, a Matt Morales Online Screensaver (for those of you who
don't like people) and maybe some wallpapers (for those of you deeper into
isolation than I care to know. I'll let everbody know when I do something
significant with a handy email.
Oh, I'm also doing well in school, meeting
new people, playing bass in a band. And I can take the computer apart and do
stuff to it without breaking it. Whee!
